Wednesday, September 2, 2020

The Insecure Writer and Watching Your Progeny Go Off To School


Today is September's contribution to Alex Cavanaugh's Insecure Writers Support Group.

Why am I an insecure writer this month? Because by the time you read this, I will be in Chicago, dropping my son off for his very first day in college. :(

It’s a bittersweet time for the Rahmoeller family as we watch our son head off to school. We’re proud of how he’s matured over his last year of high school and we wish him well on this new phase of his life, but we’re going to miss him terribly. He's the second in our family to graduate high school, but our daughter chose to attend local colleges so we were spared the separation anxiety for a couple of years.

If his school was closer, he'd probably drive home every weekend (he loves driving!), but Chicago is five hours away from Detroit, so that's not going to happen. Thanks goodness for Skype. Fortunately, my wife and I have enough flexibility in our lives that we’ll be able to visit him when the urge becomes too great.

So how did you guys handle it when your firstborn went off to college?

BTW, since I'll be traveling this week, I won't have a chance to visit your blogs this time around.  See you next month.

Optional September question: If you could choose one author, living or dead, to be your beta partner, who would it be and why?

Jim Butcher – I’ve always enjoyed his writing style. Simple, straightforward words that paint a complex picture without being too flowery. I suspect that having him as a beta partner for a couple of years would have vastly improved my rather simplistic writing style.

Take care everyone, and stay safe! 



  1. Sorry he'll be so far away. At least he got to go to his college. They shut them all down here.

  2. It was our second daughter who flew the next first and went to university out of town. We used skype and text etc but it was hard to adjust. I wish you all well on this step of life, I'm sure you will all find a way to make it work for you.

  3. Good luck!! My kids stayed at local schools so I was lucky!
    Love Jim Butcher's work too!

  4. Good luck with the move. Becoming an empty nester was really hard for me. It's good that you have your wife to go through this with you.

  5. Bittersweet is understandable. I'd be crying everyday. It took years to get over my sons all growing up. Now we have grandchildren that age. OOh, that makes me sound old.

  6. I still have a few years yet before I face that anxiety. I hope all goes well and both you and he find joy in the send-off!

  7. Congrats on launching your son! I well remember when we drove my daughter to college--and left her there. It almost broke my heart. Sigh.

  8. I'm sure the complications of coronavirus deepen your concerns. May all be well for your son at college.

    Happy travels - may all be well with you, too.

  9. I took a lot of trips to my son's campus that first year, but he also came home a lot, so we eased each other over the hump. Big transition, Ken.

  10. Good luck with this major transition, Ken! I hope things go well for your son. My dad told me not to come home for the weekend. He wanted me to participate in campus life and to study. LOL It must be a worry for you with coronavirus on the loose. Jim Butcher sounds like a good author.

  11. I was so ready by the time mine got to that age, I didn't have as much trouble as some. I hate to say it, but I looked forward to the empty nest for the most part.

    One son still lives with me. My daughter just moved a couple hours away. She was quiet and independent, but I still miss having her around.

  12. My hubby and I bawled for several hours on the way home - our oldest goes to school in Bozeman, MT which is a 10-12 hour drive from where we live in Washington State. We don't get to see her very often, but we do have some wonderful phone and face-time calls. Our youngest is in state, but still 5 hours away (on the opposite side) and she comes home every six weeks or so. We cried after we dropped her off, too. It's a tough adjustment, but I'm really proud of each of them.