Wednesday, September 4, 2019

The Insecure Writer and Transitioning Into a (Mostly) Full Time Writer.


Today is September's contribution to Alex Cavanaugh's Insecure Writers Support Group.

Why am I an Insecure Writer this month?

Because  after six months, I’m still not settled into the routine of being a (productive) writer.

Some of you may know I was downsized from my job at the end of February. Although it was a bit of a shock at the time, I eventually considered this to be a sign that I should devote myself to writing (at least during my more optimistic moods). However, the transition to writing has not come easily.

Feeling guilty for not bringing in as much money as I had before, I dabbled with the idea of taking a less well-paying job, at least for the short term, in order to cushion the financial blow to the family. Not only did searching for such jobs take away from my writing time, but guilt made it harder to concentrate on writing. 

Eventually I began tutoring chemistry students, and although the pay isn’t nearly as lucrative as a job in industry, it lessened my need to find another job.  Still, learning the ins and outs of the tutoring business took more time than I expected, further limiting my writing time.

And then there was the constant feeling that the time I spent writing was taking away from things that were “more important,” like helping my wife around the house, interacting with the kids, or tackling projects that have been on my to-do list for years. I felt pulled in all directions, guilt gnawing at me every time I sat in front of my computer.

But all that is in the past. Six months later, I’ve come to accept my new position in life and no longer feel guilty about not having a regular 9 to 5 job. I’m definitely more productive on the writing front and no longer find myself having to write feverishly at the last minute so as to have something to submit to my monthly critique groups.  However, my transition to being a writer isn’t complete. It may be easier for me to sit down and work on my WIP these days, but there are plenty of other writing related activities where I’m falling short. For example:

•  My lack of blogging. Last week was my first non-IWSG post in several months. Heck, I use to post twice a week back when I had that 9 to 5 job!
•  I’ve been bad about visiting other writer’s blogs, except on the first Wednesday of every month.
•  I haven’t touched my Hogwarts fan fiction in months, despite the fact that I’m supposed to be uploading the chapters to Wattpad once a week.
•  I haven’t been making contact with other authors in my genre, although that task was one of my New Year’s resolutions.

I’ve come to realize I will have to structure my time better if I expect to become a productive writer. At the moment, all my focus is on finishing my debut novel. Not that focusing on the actual writing is a bad thing, but sooner or later I’m going to finish the darn thing and then the real work will begin (editing, publishing, marketing, etc.) So, I better have a structure in place by then or things will get very ugly, very quickly.


Let’s move on to more enjoyable topics, like this month’s IWSG question: If you could pick one place in the world to sit and write your next story, where would it be and why?

This one’s a no-brainer.  It would be in an old castle somewhere in Britain (preferably Scotland), surrounded by fog shrouded moors, preferably in the autumn.  If you don't know why… well, I guess no amount of explanation would suffice. 


My future writing space


Be sure to stop by and say hello to the other ISWG co-hosts this month: Gwen GardnerTyrean MartinsonDoreen McGettigan, and Cathrina Constantine

ChemistKen

62 comments:

  1. Glad you're able to write more and not feeling guilty. I'm sure it'll continue to get easier.

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  2. Having rotated through 4 different jobs in a year(!) in vastly different fields, I know how you feel, Ken. Dramatic change upsets our internal rhythm. I'm loving my new one am my writing output reflects it. Hang in there! Working outside the 9-to-5 life is my dream - but not for a while yet. Maybe retiring to those foggy moors . . .

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  3. Change is hard on our creative progress. It sounds like you're settling in to a place where you can begin to find a writing flow. I love Scotland. I'd go back and visit in a heart beat. Happy IWSG Day :)

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  4. That's a tough transition to go through. I'm sure you'll find a pattern and rhythm that works for you. We lived in Scotland for many years - such a gorgeous country with so many spots full of writerly inspiration.

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    1. Man! So many of the writers here either live or have lived near Scotland at one point in their lives. I'm so jealous!

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  5. There are plenty of castles to choose from in Scotland.
    Sounds like a little structure will get everything back in line.
    Thanks for co-hosting today!

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  6. Hi,
    You know you're actually making progress. You have a long list of things you want to do or plan to do, but don't forget you are only one person and as the old adage goes, Rome was not built in one day. So be gentle to yourself. I've been in your spot and have found out that taking a step at a time is conducive and productive to my health. And I love the Castle. I wouldn't mind living in a castle in Scotland for a year.
    Thank you for co-hosting and all the best.

    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat G @ EverythingMustChange

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  7. Congratulations on coming to terms with your new reality. So often, time management and creativity seem to at odds. Clearly, you are applying your drive and creativity to create the balance you seek.
    Thanks for co-hosting September's IWSG blog hop.
    Lynn La Vita @ Writers Supporting Writers

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  8. Thanks for co-hosting this month.
    Writer's guilt is somehting I think all writers experience in one form or another. I've had many of the exact same feelings as you within the past 5 years. I'm blessed at the moment to have a day job that pays well and I enjoy, but of course I don't write as much as I'd like and my blogging is down to once or twice a month, but I'm okay with that. These are the cards I've been dealt.
    I hope you get to write in your castle someday. I think there are castle writing retreats you can apply for, but don't quote me on that.

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  9. Structure is difficult when you work out of your home. I have to keep a to-do list and make sure I stay on track.

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  10. Got a chill just thinking about writing there! Great spot!
    Glad you're settling in with the new routines - life loves to throw those curveballs!

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  11. I'd love to visit a real castle even if I wasn't writing.

    I feel your pain on the balance issues. I don't blog anymore except for IWSG once a month because blogging takes a lot of time (more in the audience gathering than the blog itself). I don't feel guilty about that because I have nothing to promote right now.

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  12. That'd be a beautiful place to write!
    Glad you're getting yourself into a comfortable writer's spot. I still am having issues with that guilt feeling of not doing 'more important' things with my time. Maybe someday :)

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  13. It sounds like you're on a good track now. Often, it just takes time for things to work themselves out. But being patient is not always easy. :)

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  14. Thanks for co-hosting. I work from home and have found that my low-paying contract writing time often takes all my writing time. But like you, I've felt guilty if I don't make enough money, especially since I'm alone now and have a kid in college. Next year I'm going to take my husband's social security and cut back on work. I hope I can get a schedule of writing regularly and being on social media more. Good luck with yours. It's a work in progress.

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  15. You're moving into another life phase, Ken, and that always takes some adjustment. Glad adjustment is coming for you and glad you're co-hosting today! As to the castle in Scotland, I say fantastic!

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  16. Change is always frustrating, even when you want it. It is hard to be self motivating ALL the time. I'm working on my time management too! Thanks for co-hosting this month, and good luck!

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  17. Your writing place sounds perfect and if you're wondering if I'm still waiting in WattPad for fan-fic, I am.

    Hope things smooth out so you can get back to it. :-)

    Anna from elements of emaginette

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  18. Five years ago I began the transition from full-time teacher to full-time writer--and I'm just now finding my most productive rhythm. Thanks for sharing the gorgeous castle, and for co-hosting!

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  19. Guilt is something that most (if not all) of us have to deal with at least one point in our lives. My blogging also took a hit. I've finally started to blog more after downgrading the past couple of years. For a while, I was only doing one post a month. It'll get better with time.

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  20. As the saying goes, 'change is the only constant.' Maybe a timetable could help you handle everything? (Just remember to add buffers for tasks that may spillover and breaks).

    PS: That castle seems like the perfect plot for a story.

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  21. Ah yes. I'm working on that balance, too. Difficult. And yes, a castle in Scotland sounds like a fantastic place to write! Thatks for co-hosting!

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  22. I'll join you at that castle. Let's make it a writer's retreat! All best to you as you adjust to your new life. Sounds like it's going well. Tutoring offers so many rewards, plus you can set your own schedule. You're doing great.
    Thanks for co-hosting this month!
    Mary at Play off the Page

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  23. Writing in a castle sounds fun. Guilt is a hard one to deal with and sometimes we just have to give writing a back seat for a while to focus our time and energies on other aspects of our life. Glad to hear you are getting back into things and meeting your schedules, hopefully you are enjoying it too.
    Thanks for co-hosting this month :)

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  24. Writing in a castle sounds wonderful! I think that's why I would like to write in a lighthouse - they are, on a small scale, the only kinds of castles we really have in the states.
    I am glad to hear you are getting into your writing life, but I understand the need for schedule. I hope we both can get better at that this month! :)
    Happy writing!

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  25. Sounds like you're doing great from my perspective. Give guilt a swift kick out of your thoughts. Embrace the camaraderie of family and friends. Their love and caring is the 'stuff' that helps one move forward and rise to any challenge. I know you will succeed. Blessings

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  26. Good to hear you're settling in as a writer. That tutoring is a great idea. I did it, albeit online, when I was transitioning. It really helps.

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  27. I always tell myself that it's fine when life intervenes with my writing. That's the time to step back to rest and refresh. So don't feel guilty. (I almost had a panic attack my first week when I left my full-time job.) Best of luck finding what works for you.

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  28. It's all about prioritizing, right? Life is full of distractions, so it's easy to be pulled away from what's really important.

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  29. An old castle on the moors sounds pretty much amazing. Especially in autumn. A ghost or two would definitely improve the writing experience. And good luck with your full time writing job! Sounds like you've settled into a good place with it.

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  30. Hi,

    The castle idea is fantastic! I'd pick the tower on the far left - more windows ;-)

    The only thing worse than letting go is not embracing something new - write your heart out!

    Thank you for co-hosting ;-)

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  31. Sorry for your limited writing time due to life and employment changes. My writing plans have fallen by the wayside, I haven’t been visiting other blogs as much, or written anything more than two sentences, except for IWSG posts, because I’ve been in a slump. I’m in need of restructering myself, but not sure how to give myself the jump start I need. As for a place to sit and write my next story, then it’s somewhere and something JK Rowling and Harry Potter related. The chair she sat in to write the books. The hotel where she finished the series with The Deathly Hallows. And at King’s Cross Station platform 9 ¾.
    Thanks for co-hosting today! :-D

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  32. Dude. Your description of guilt--you hit that nail on the head. That's why I feel like I can't write when I'm at home. That GUILT. I'm glad to hear it's subsiding for you.

    I hope you find a good structure for your time. I think you're right, that's going to be key.

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  33. It's difficult balancing life with writing. Writing is like my pup who expects all my attention and that just isn't fair.

    Love your new writing castle. :) Thanks for cohosting!

    Teresa

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  34. Yes, it is difficult to keep up with everything. I have been 'away' for three years, I look after a disabled husband, and now blogging and writing again. Hope you are too.

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  35. There is nothing like an English or Scottish castle for inspiration! I'm with you on the time management issues. We make plans and the Universe laughs. Thanks for co-hosting today.

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  36. Settling into change takes time. You got this! I love castles and fog too! Lots of ghosts floating about.

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  37. I'm so sorry about the downsizing. What a scary thing to have happened. What a great castle photo - I think it would be a wonderful place to write. Try not to get discouraged and try and use this time to write your heart out! Thanks for co-hosting. I've enjoyed reading your blog. https://www.dianeweidenbenner.com/iwsg-first-wednesday-9-4-19/

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  38. A castle sounds awesome, I wish I'd thought of it!! Thanks for co-hosting!

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  39. Structuring time properly has often been the bane of my creative life. Having the confinement of a regular job almost makes it easier to structure a schedule since it takes so much time out of the equation.

    Arlee Bird
    Tossing It Out

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  40. I'm rooting for you! I have to find a job for the first time in over a decade. My husband recently died and now I have to pay the bills. I'm terrified of what it's going to do to my writing life. I was just starting to feel like a real writer. So I applaud you, wholeheartedly as well as your family for making any necessary adjustments so this can happen.

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  41. Glad to hear things are coming together for you. Managing your time is one of the hardest things to do. Happy IWSG Day!

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  42. I like your ideal spot. Hope the plumbing and heating has been updated. Glad to hear adjustment is coming together.

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  43. You've gone through a lot of emotions in the last 6 months. I'm glad you've accepted your new "job." Time management is hard, esp. when *we* have to do the managing. Good luck to you. I want to read that debut novel soon. Thanks for co-hosting.

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  44. I'd love to write in a castle too!
    I'm sorry about the job and when it happened to me I procrastinated like crazy. Being disciplined with my schedule took some doing and I still mess up, especially over the summer. Good luck with finding your groove and getting that book done!

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  45. Writing in a castle would be amazing!

    Don't beat yourself up too much. It always takes time to adjust to change. I do get that feeling of guilt over prioritizing writing, especially when it's not (yet!) making much money. But at this point, writing is so much a part of me that my family tells me to go write because they can tell I'm getting edgy :-) @samanthabwriter from
    Balancing Act

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  46. I do love old castles.

    Structuring time is definitely the way to go for a full-time writer.

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  47. I hope the castle has a warm fireplace! I'm glad your transition is going smoother as you get further into it. Happy writing and thanks for co-hosting.

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  48. Well, let me tell you right off (as a wife), that helping your wife around the house is the most important thing you can do ~ Just kidding! But helping her is a very important thing ~ Not kidding! I'm glad that your writing life is coming together well, Ken! What I would have given to have a good chemistry tutor in high school and university. Lucky kids to have you. I hope that you get to write in a beautiful old Scottish castle in the autumn someday! Thanks for co-hosting!

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  49. Thank you for writing so thoughtfully about what remains a challenge for many, especially those who have not retired yet! Remember that movie, Zorba the Greek? When Zorba was asked if he was married, he replied, "Am I not a man? And is not a man stupid? I’m a man. So I married. Wife, children, house, everything. The full catastrophe." And yet Zorba inspired us with his exuberance for life. May you persevere with your writing, seize the moment, and one day, live in that castle!

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  50. It's easy to get tunnel vision. I agree with Beth Camp on the novel, Zorba the Greek. Thank you for the awesome post. Happy IWSG Day! And thank you for co-hosting!

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  51. Great location choice :)

    Thank you for being so open in sharing the struggles you've experienced over the past few months. I'm sure this resonates with many of us and knowing that there's a resolution at the end is most encouraging.

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  52. When you go through a trauma like redundancy, it's difficult to allow the creative juices to flow. Although some years ago I joined a painting group when I was in job limbo, and several new friends had also been made redundant. Painting seems to help. I'm not sure writing works the same way.
    The main thing is - don't stress about it.
    And there are lots of us about who have been online blogging for seven or eight years, who have taken a break recently to concentrate on writing - or other things.
    Make it easy on yourself, and your mojo will do its thing in its own time.
    Good luck.

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  53. Great castle on the last photo. I wouldn't mind having a writing retreat there.
    On the more serious front - a transition from a 9 to 5 job to a freelance fiction writer is not an easy one, and you're doing all you can, so kudos to you.

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  54. I would imagine it is bound to take time to adjust when you have such a shock to your established life and routine but I'm so glad you are feeling more settled now and able to tackle your writing full-time. Well done!!
    Love the castle and that's a great idea for a retreat.

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  55. I'm glad the guilt has let go of you. Changes take time to adjust to and that can suck because all the while you are thinking of things you want to get done but can't.

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  56. Hey Ken,

    I kept on nodding as I read your post and dear Lord I can so relate!! What is it about when we have extra "time" and our writing suffers. Maybe it's the deadlines that keep/kept us going. I don't know, but I'm still trying to figure it out. If I do, I'll let you know!!

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  57. Whenever I have been between jobs I am amazed that I don't get a lot more writing done. Have time - no inclination. Sad but true. I understand how guilt ridden so much free time can be. I agree, getting a schedule in place could really help manage the "work hours" of writing.

    Good luck. Can I join you at your Castle retreat?

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  58. We don't exactly have a castle but you're welcome up here any time!

    It can be hard to adjust to a big change in employment. Apart from the guilt or anything like that, if you have a 9 to 5 it's an immovable object and you naturally structure writing and everything else around that - if that goes, it's easy to come adrift. Glad to hear you're writing again though and your priorities are definitely in place if you're focused on finishing that novel. Everything around it will fall into place. I've been out of it with blogging and social media in general too - it can feel like a big effort but if we don't get the word out, who will? Good luck!

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  59. I used to live in an ideal place for writing--lots of quiet, private space anytime! But, not so much anymore. I would pick somewhere out in the middle of nowhere, like where I was for vacation recently.

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  60. ... with a blazing wood fire to keep the room snuggly warm! Yes. I like that idea for a writing place - beautiful view from the window and not too many distractions, as it's too cold to enjoy hikes and sightseeing in autumn in Scotland!

    While you might not realize it, you did A LOT in six months! From finding an alternate job to settling in a new routine and lifestyle to getting rid of your guilt to working on your debut novel, while dealing with all these changes! Well done.

    I always find "more important" things to do than work on my memoir. Life has to be lived, of course, but I do think that coming up with a schedule, or structure as you call it, is the best way to make progress as a writer. I don't have any of that, because of the lifestyle I chose... :-(

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